Off to 'school'

Renee officially started school on Sept 1st. Of course, she's only just turned 2, so 'school' here actually means daycare.

They feed her, bathe her, change her and even put her down for her nap. They also have 'lessons' like maths, languages, arts & crafts and music & songs.

Most importantly, when Renee is there, she gets to interact with other kids her age, and to me, that's very important.

Because I want her to learn to share and communicate with other kids. Just being alone with me for the pass 2 years, she has had all the attention to herself, all the toys to herself and had nobody else to talk to except me and sk.




And i've seen kids who grew up alone without being around other kids. They are loners and selfish and always keep to themselves as they are not used to being around others.

I do not want Renee to grow up to become like that.

Even though it was, and still is, hard to let her go, it also helps that I get some 'me' time to myself when Renee is away at school, and I've come to realise that it actually plays a very important role.

I'm less mang chang and more patient and I do not take out my frustrations on Renee and SK as much as i used to.




The first 3 days, I cried as much as Renee did, perhaps even more, but as the days wore on, I've learnt to actually enjoy this new found freedom. The freedom of not having to worry about feeding Renee, or watching her while I try to do my things, or whether or not she's watching too much or too little tv.

Of course, it also helps alot to know that Renee is settling down in school as well, and does not cry for as long as she did the first few times.

But the pass 2 days marked a GREAT improvement because the teacher successfully managed to put Renee down for her naps!

Even SK has problems putting her down to sleep because Renee is so used to having me put her to sleep (not to mention her need to suckle me to sleep), that he sometimes had to purposely take her for a drive just so that she will fall asleep!




So I was quite worried about that. And it really didn't help with the fact that for the first few days of starting school, Renee fought to stay awake pass her nap time to wait for me to pick her up only to fall asleep upon reaching home. And that would usually already be about 6.30 pm 7pm, and she won't wake till about 8.30pm 9pm, only to fall back asleep at 2am.

So you can imagine just how it screwed up her timing.

And I wasn't sure how long this would last for and it worried me beyond words because I definitely did not want her sleeping at 2am everyday.

So when the teacher called me up 2 days ago to inform me that she has finally managed to put Renee down for her nap (and she slept for 1.5hrs at that!), I was overjoyed!

It also comforted me in a way that Renee actually trusted her teacher enough to allow her to put her to sleep because to me, that meant that the teacher was treating her well and not abusing her - and kids don't lie about these things.




Overall, Project Daycare went better than I expected and I'm really glad to have found a place that both Renee and I are so comfortable with.

I only pray that I don't cry on the day when she can say "Bye mummy" and walk in on her own without a backward glance at me.

The month that was

Okay, I actually wrote something else before this but thanks to BlogPress and it eff-ing up on me all the time, I ter-deleted it. Too lazy to rewrite what it was. And this was suppose to be posted up last week but I don't know what's wrong with BlogPress so I'm now actually retyping this using my laptop.

.

Basically, something about me starting work based from home and of Renee starting daycare, which I will blog about in another entry cos its damn emo and this blog is suppose to be about happy clappy things.

.

And of course, also about all the things that happened since my last post on HFM.

.

First up, Renee turned TWO on August 22nd! My little baby is not so little anymore *sniffsniff*

.

.

The theme, as you can see on her birthday cake, was Elephants & Penguins, so we had a two-layered cake, the bottom layer being jungle themed for the elephants and the top layer snow themed for the penguins!

.

Everyone enjoyed the cake because it wasn't too sweet nor rich so yes, money well spent! Haha!

.

The cake was from www.heavenlyonearth.blogspot.com and you can get them to customize any kindda cake you want. Damn nice. Go check out this Burberry bag they made. Looked so real!

.

.

Anyways, we celebrated her birthday with friends and family one day before her actual day at KFC Subang Parade and it was HAVOC!!!

.

All the kids everywhere!!!

.

Sorry la but this was the first kids party I ever organised and it seriously almost made me swore NEVER to throw another one ever!

.

And the worse part was the stupid mascot.

.

Dah la Renee scared of it right. But the stupid chicken was just standing there during the cake cutting session and did not wanna move. I tried telling it to get out of the way so that we can have a proper family picture taken without it's beak in the way but either his costume was too thick or he pekak, he didn't lor. So Renee was crying throughout the cake cutting session.

.

And even then, I had to snatch the knife out of the damn mascot's hands/wings because it didn't wanna give it to me.

.

Hello! Your birthday or my daughter's birthday? Stupid chicken.

.

(ok...ok...think happy clappy thoughts.....happy clappy happy clappy....)

.

One week later, we celebrated SK's 32nd birthday!

.

.

I decided to bring him to Sunway Resort's Sun & Surf Cafe because I remember how much I loved it when I was there a few years back.

.

We used to go there for like every occasion we could think of. Grandpa's birthday. Family dinner. Parent's anniversary. Just for fun. So to me, it was a place that brings happy memories and laughter to me and I wanted to share that with SK as he has never been there before.

.

SIGH....

BIG disappointment.

.

.

The spread was only so-so.

The oysters weren't even fresh!

The place was dirty.

I don't even know what the hundreds of waiters and waitresses do there but they sure did not do what they were suppose to do lor.

And.....wait for it...

THEY WERE OUT OF BABY CHAIRS!!!

.

Excuse me but I called up a few days in advance, made reservations and informed you that I will be bringing a toddler with me and that I would need a baby chair.

.

So why was it when I arrived that not only did I have to wait for my table when your restaurant was PRACTICALLY EMPTY but was also told there were no more baby chairs for me???

.

FAIL BIG TIME!!!

.

.

Imagine when I tweeted about this, I wasn't surprised from the response I got back. All was about their own personal experience dining there and all NEGATIVE feedback!

.

You should just CLOSE SHOP.

.

And to think that you charge RM98++ per person. What a shitload waste of our time and money.

.

Sigh...sorry b, shall let you decide on the venue next year. Don't wanna disappoint you again.

.

Omg, this post is suppose to be a happy post, why am I so angry?

.

Anyways, our birthday present to Renee was this...

.

.

We brought her for Sesame Street Live presenting When Elmo Grows Up in Bukit Jalil Stadium and she absolutely loved it!!!

.

Even I enjoyed it!

Brought me back down memory lane...

.

.

"Sunny days, sweeping the clouds away,

On our way, to where the air is sweet!

Can you tell me how to get

How to get to Sesame Street"

.

.

Only thing I regretted was not buying front row tix.

.

Because judging from the way Renee reacted to the KFC mascot at her birthday party, we didn;t think it would be wise to get seats too near the stage.

.

But I would have enjoyed being up close and in their face =)

.

.

The whole show lasted about an hour plus and it was fantastic!

.

The lightings & sounds were perfect and the props....fabulous!!!

.

The three of us enjoyed it thoroughly!

.

.

The only thing that I was a bit upset about was that the cast did not come out for a meet and greet session.

.

It would have been nice to take some pictures with them.

.

And finally, we went up to Frasers again!

.

.

But this will come in it's own seperate post as well. Soon. I hope.

HFM

Yup, my little baby girl is the latest victim of this annoying virus going around targeting kids.

She's got the whole works.

Started off with a fever that peaked at 38.5 degrees. Followed by horrible splotches of huge white ulcers inside her mouth and tongue and of course the red spots on the feet and hands.

Its really heart-breaking to see my little girl go through this because, seriously, at my age and with one teeny weeny little ulcer on my tongue, I'm already whining away non-stop. What more having a whole mouth and tongue full of it.

But she's strong. And thank goodness for us and her, she's still eating and drinking as normal, although she may be cranky at times, especially during her sleep.

So i guess its either the ulcers aren't hurting her that much, or she has a super high threshold for pain. Whichever it is, its a good thing.

Looks like i won't be starting her in daycare as planned. Not until she's fully recovered.

Brave strong girl

Next week marks a new chapter in my life as a mother, and in Renee's life as a child.

She's starting daycare.

I know it may not be anything big to most of you, and most mothers do it so why can't I, right? But it IS big for me. A very big and difficult step to take.

I'm extremely attached to Renee. Like really super-glue attach. I carried her for 9 months and in this 9 months, I was on complete bed rest throughout my 1st trimester because I was bleeding.

I think the fact that I stood a very high chance of loosing my then unborn child made me cling on and willed my body harder to be strong. To make sure that I did NOT lose it.

And when I won that fight, the next obstacle came. In my 2nd trimester, I had to do a blood test and my results came back bad. The baby I was carrying had an extremely high risk of being down-syndrome.

I had to go in for further tests. And the waiting for results period drove me very much to almost depression. The doctors said we had a choice to terminate the pregnancy should the results come out bad. And that was what almost killed me.

I was already in my 20th week. I already knew that my baby is a 'she'. I already felt her moving inside me. I already loved her. What would I do if she was down-syndrome? Would i want to continue with this, knowing that we're all gonna suffer together when she's born? Shunned by society? And who's gonna look out for her if something happened to me?

But to terminate the pregnancy? How could I kill my own child? Who am I to end a life? A life that i already loved?

But praise God, we won this war again. Further tests showed her to be a normal HEALTHY baby girl. 5 fingers 5 toes and a very prominent forehead.

My third trimester came and my baby was breeched. She didn't turn. And what made it worse. She had already pooped inside. Which made the very waters she was swimming in toxic. And so I was scheduled in for a c-section.

I have been fighting obstacles after obstacles from the start of my pregnancy till the very end. And that made me just that much more attached to Renee.

I drowned through fear of losing her 3 times and yet, 3 times we managed to break through the currents and inhale fresh new air.

So I guess in a way, its made me a little psycho. About always being there to protect Renee.

I gave up my career to be a stay-home mom. I looked after Renee all by myself with no help from anyone from the day she was born up till now. And she's turning 2 next month.

I don't even trust my parents or SK's parents to look after her even for a few hours. Wtf I don't even trust SK to look after her.

So yes, sending her to a daycare is a very BIG thing for me.

I've been mentally prepping her for it, telling her that she'll be going to 'school' next week, got many friends to play with, teachers to teach many things. Mummy will come back and pick you up after 'school' is over. Be a strong and brave girl.

I'm just praying and hoping that I'll be the braver and stronger girl.

Anyways, some random pictures I took here and there.






Renee made me decorate her Elly with my flower hair-ties.





A small snail I found while prepping veggies for dinner.





We went for steambot in Klang that still uses the traditional method of charcoal to heat up the soup.





In F21's dressing room. Loved the look but only got myself the top. I mean, who am i kidding. Can't carry off that college girl look anymore.





Renee has learned to climb on top of the tv table but has yet to learn how to climb down.





Chocolate feast with my baby girl before heading back to OUG for dinner.

I is so stupid

The iPhone is THE MOST complicated thing in the world!

I mean, its also awesome. It keeps Renee entertained in the car and while i take my shower because it has all these cool educational apps that she can play with. I get to download all these other apps for myself which I could not using a normal mobile phone.

Its just that this phone is in a world of its own. Just downloading ringtones itself is a bitch. Being so used to other phones where I could just save the song or have someone bluetooth it to my phone and I can automatically use that as a ringtone already, I almost cried when I first found out what I had to do to convert songs to be recognized as ringtones for this phone.

Even my bluetooth earpiece refuses to even wanna pair with this phone and I do not know why so I'm stuck using the conventional handsfree that came with the phone, wires everywhere.

And last night. OMG!!! I almost went crazy. Renee was playing with my phone and I didn't know what she did but she managed to lock my rotation mode.

Which means that my screen stayed lock even when I turned the phone sideways. So I couldn't even use landscape mode to type or view stuff.

And what was even more frustrating was the fact that I didn't know how to undo it!

I searched through the Settings in the phone, clicking here and there and when nothing happened, I did it all over again anyways just in case something might miraculously happen on the 2nd and 3rd try. Nothing.

I even googled it "Enable landscape mode iphone", "Unlock locked landscape mode ipone", "Landscape mode iphone"....bla bla bla but everything that came out all said the same thing - download this app or that app for extra landscape keyboards or games or what not.

Urgh! I was so close to throwing the phone away and strangling Renee at the same time. But she's just a kid. Didn't know what she was doing. Just a very smart kid.

And I'm the type of person where if I don't get something settled the way I want it to be, I won't be able to sleep. At all.

Like when I'm already in bed, comfy and snugged and then I notice that the curtains are a little crooked, I'll get up just to straighten it, else it'll be bugging me the whole night. Or if I notice that my brush, perfume, make up, watever is not placed in its right place or is a little out of its place, I'll need to rearrange it back. Or if my shampoo finishes first before my conditioner does, I'll go mad cos I won't know what to do with the remaining conditioner. Yes. I'm crazy like that. SK says its a disease. That I'm diseased.

So just imagine what not being able to undo what Renee did to my phone was doing to me!!!

I was going crazy!

I even posted on twitter and facebook, hoping that someone somewhere out there would be able to help me.

And someone did

I thank the stars and moon and sun and planet for creating such a smart kind nice person and for letting this person be my friend because he saw my fb shout out and replied with a solution!

All i had to do was double click my home button, swipe the multitask bar to the left and VOILA!!! the unlock button was there!

Such a simple solution.

So. Renee's not that smart after all.

I IS JUST STUPIDER.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Blog test from iPhone

I just downloaded this BlogPress app that allows me to blog fr my phone.

So this is just a test blog to see if it works.

I hope it does.

Cos this ain't no free app k.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Persiaran Setia Prima,Shah Alam,Malaysia

Changes

I'm actually looking around for a daycare centre for Renee.

.

Yah.

I know, right.

Damn freaking selfish of me.

.

First, I chose to sacrifice my career to be a Stay At Home Mom.

Thinking it would be all the better for me and for my baby.

And then, because of the choice I made, Renee got used to having mummy around her all the time. She got used to getting first class treatment and first class attention and first class food and first class everything.

.

And then now, because my maid ran away and left me suddenly with a whole house to maintain and on top of that, a 22 month old toddler to chase around, and I just cannot cope anymore, I'm just gonna throw her into a daycare centre.

.

To me, that's just really selfish.

.

But I don't have any other choices.

.

Everyday, I'm trying my best to keep the house spotless (because Renee tends to pick up random things from the floor and put them into her mouth). But each time I clean one room, I walk into another room to find that Renee had either spilled milk all over the floor, or Vitagen all over the sofa, or left a trail of biscuit crumbs from the living room to the kitchen to the dining area, or something.

.

And it makes me blow my head off.

.

And then *POW* I'm suddenly on a screaming rampage, yelling at the top of my lungs at this little girl (who has no idea why her mother is screaming at her again), smacking her hands (or legs, whichever made the mistake), getting out of breath for yelling so loud without stopping to take a breath, and then finally, crumbling down onto the floor and asking myself over and over and over again, what did I ever do to deserve this.

.

And when I've calmed myself down and Renee is still too scared to come near me, I pick myself up and start cleaning all over again.

.

And I know that this is just not healthy.

Not for me.

Not for Renee.

.

I clearly need to go for anger management course.

Or something.

Whatever.

.

So, which is why I've decided that the best option for this is to send Renee to a daycare centre.

.

I mean, it's not gonna be that bad. She gets to interact with other kids her age. Get involved in fun activities all day long. Be surrounded by people other than me. It'll be good for her. Might teach her to appreciate me more. And maybe be more disciplined too.

.

It'll be good for me too.

I'll be able to have 'ME' time, something which I never had much of since I gave birth.

I'll finally be able to focus on growing my own company and be independent instead of depending on hubby. Perhaps in a way, it'll lift a slight burden off hubby's shoulders about being the only one bringing in the money for the family, and we could all be happier.

.

Also, I wouldn't be getting angry and shouting all the time.

Which means that the time I spend with Renee will be healthier, happier.

And I wouldn't be so mang chang with hubby as well.

.

BIG sigh.....

.

Honestly though, although I know this is the best way to go (afterall, Renee is already almost 2), I really am NOT looking forward to sending Renee off to a daycare centre.

.

I've gotten so used to be the one looking after her since she was born, the thought of someone else taking over the job now (even if its only for a few hours during the day), someone else feeding her, changing her, cleaning her, playing with her, soothing her when she cries, putting her down for her nap.....sighs....just makes me wanna cry, you know.

.

I mean, how will I know if they're doing their best for her. How will I know if they're feeding her top quality food, or cleaning her properly, or comforting her the right way when she cries?

.

Something as simple as being there to monitor her temperature every hour when she has a fever, or patiently feeding her and making sure she finishes everything in her bowl, or trying different ways to soothe her when she's sad until she stops crying. These things only a mother will be able to do for her child.

.

But I know, time will help.

Only time will be able to help me let her go.

It's definitely not going to be easy the first few days, for both me and Renee.

But children adapt to changes easily.

And as for me, well, I'll just have to keep myself busy until I get used to the idea of someone else looking after Renee to ease my mind and my time for me.